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Overview: Former Group Members
Michael D. Langone, Ph.D.
A list of articles and other resources on
this site follows this overview.
Former group members usually
seek information from us because they are trying
to understand their group experience and/or deal
with post-group problems.
Although getting information on the
group in question has utility, it is
usually at least as important to understand the
processes that underlie group involvements. This
and other
study guides and
topic collections are designed to help
you understand these processes and
provide you with background
information.
In this overview we
want to call your attention to a number of points
that we believe former group members should keep
in mind. We recommend that you read
this overview first.
Specific articles and other resources are
listed at the end of the overview, including
important
definitional essays. Since
surveys indicate that over 90% of
ex-members have found reading materials and
talking to other ex-members to be helpful, we
believe that you will find the
resources listed below to be useful.
The
most important principle to keep in mind when
trying to evaluate helping resources is this: different people will respond differently to
similar environments. Environments and
individuals are complex and interact in complex
ways.
This seems like common
sense, but it is easy for people to ignore
individual differences and overgeneralize: "If
Joe and Mary had bad experiences in the Holy
Enlightenment Crusade for Oneness, then Harry too
must have had the same kind of experiences." The
notion of individual differences implies that,
although Harry may very well also have been
harmed, he may not have been, or may have been
harmed in a different way. Thus, if you are
Harry, you don't want your experiences defined by
Joe and Mary. Nevertheless, you may learn
something useful by finding out about Joe and
Mary.
This is part of ICSA's role:
helping you to learn about the experiences and
views of other people, while at the same time
encouraging you to think carefully about the
degree to which this information may or may not
be relevant to your unique situation.
In other words, pay
respectful attention to the resources on our
site, but don't do what you might have been
encouraged to do in your group, that is, treat
this information as holy writ that cannot be
questioned.
Question! Question!
Question!
If you were really in a
destructive group, your capacity for independent
critical thinking may have been assaulted and
diminished. We cannot help you regain that
capacity if we don't encourage you to critically
examine what we say, as well as what others say.
See the resources on our
critical thinking topic page.
An excellent way to enhance
your capacity for critical thinking is to talk to
former members from diverse groups, such as in
one of ICSA's "After the Cult"
workshops or conferences. The diversity of
participants' backgrounds is one of the factors
that make these workshops so effective.
Participants begin to see the psychologically
manipulative dynamics of groups in bold relief
when they hear the accounts of people from groups
that on the surface are completely different from
their own.
Clinical and research
evidence suggests that many former members of
abusive groups tend to blame themselves
inappropriately for their problems, much as the
group may have blamed them. Former members also tend to
be depressed and anxious, and often experience
what has been called "floating" (i.e., a sense of
slipping from normal to group states of
consciousness). Some also feel overt or
suppressed anger toward the group's leader(s).
An ICSA
survey found that ex-members related
to the terms "psychological abuse" and
"spiritual trauma" as descriptors of their
experience. A large percentage, possibly a
majority, appears to need counseling when they
leave their groups. Nevertheless, many psychologically
needy individuals do not seek counseling, or
receive counseling that isn't as effective as it
could be because cult-related issues are not
addressed.
Sometimes former group
members need help regarding custody disputes or
child abuse issues. We have special collections
on
custody/forensic issues and on
children.
If you are experiencing
psychological distress, it might be advisable to
seek professional help, if you have not already
done so. If you do, don't be intimidated by
credentials. And don't be afraid to "shop
around" for a therapist with whom you feel
comfortable. Psychotherapeutic effectiveness
depends upon many interacting variables, and a
sense of rapport between therapist and client is
certainly very desirable. See Singer's and
Lalich's suggestions on
choosing a therapist.
Our
profiles of people who have spoken at
our conferences or published in our periodicals
include a number of helping professionals. We
advise people seeking professional consultation
to investigate options to make sure that they
feel comfortable with a particular person.
Sometimes state psychological, medical, or
professional associations maintain referral
services for the public. Even though few
professionals have much expertise with cultic
groups, many can be helpful, particularly if they
have worked with family systems or abused
populations and if they are willing to learn
about cult-related issues. Our collection for
Mental Health Professionals may
interest such therapists.
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