AFF News, Vol. 2, No. 1
From the Editor of AFF News
Patrick Ryan |
In my work as a
thought reform
consultant I am continually confronted with the difficulty
families have in understanding their loved one's group involvement. I often
see families struggling to understand a group, it's appeal, why we joined, and
why we stayed. In an attempt to help, families can unwittingly make mistakes.
This is why it is valuable for families to become educated about groups, for
our sake, and theirs. It must be remembered that families are victims of
cults.
In this issue of AFF News,
Dr. Paul Martin of
Wellspring Retreat and Resource Center examines some of the myths
surrounding group involvement and helpful strategies families can use to
assist in our recovery. Dr. Martin also addresses the concept of floating, the
postcult experiences of altered states of consciousness that often affect
former members.
I am pleased to announce
AFF's new workshop: How to
Help a Loved One Affected by a Cult. This workshop will give
families an opportunity to learn how to more effectively communicate and
support current and former members.
Patrick Ryan
Each person suffering from trauma or injury usually
has the capacity to recover. In this chapter, I will point out some pitfalls
on the road to recovery from the trauma of cultic involvement, and then
provide some guidelines for speeding up the recovery process...
[I want to state the myths surrounding the cultic
experience] ... because it is very important for recovering ...[former
members] ...to recognize them. If one leaves a cult and surrounds himself or
herself with some well-intended people trying to help but believing in one or
more of these myths, the recovery process may be delayed or sidetracked.
- Ex-cult members do not have psychological problems.
Their problems are wholly spiritual.
- Ex-cult members do have psychological disorders.
But these people come from clearly "non-Christian" cults.
- Both Christians and non-Christian cultic groups can
produce psychological problems, but the people involved must have had prior
psychological problems that would have surfaced regardless of what group
they joined.
- While normal non-Christians may get involved with
cults, born-again evangelical Christians will not. Even if they did, their
involvement would not affect them quite so negatively.
- Christians can and do get involved in these
aberrational groups, and they can get hurt emotionally, but all they really
need is some good Bible teaching and a warm, caring Christian fellowship.
- Perhaps the best way for former cult members to
receive help is to seek professional therapy with a psychologist,
psychiatrist, or other mental health counselor.
As parents ... [or as an ex-member] ... who has left a
cult, it is crucial that you do not subscribe to these myths. If you or anyone
connected with [an ex-member] holds these false beliefs and communicates them,
there will be a double sense of victimization. The first sense of
victimization is from the cult itself. The ... [ex-member] ... feels hurt,
betrayed, confused, angry, violated, anxious, and perhaps depressed as a
result of their cult experience. The second sense of victimization comes when
friends, helpers, or family perpetuate the myths about cultism. These myths
work themselves out in everyday conversation in such questions and comments
as:
- I certainly could think of some others who might
join a cult, but you were the last person I would have expected.
- Why go to counseling? You know you were deceived in
your spiritual walk. What you need to do is repent of your sins so that the
deceiver cannot tempt you...
- ...People who join these groups are troubled or
have come from dysfunctional homes. I guess I was wrong in assuming you
didn't have those problems...
When one who has left and is trying to stay away from
a cultic group hears these statements, the message that comes through is,
"Something is wrong with you." "You must have some psychological problems."
... If the ex-cultist hears and believes these messages, recovery is all but
impossible until the erroneous thinking is corrected. Regardless of one's
spiritual or psychological health, whether one is weak or strong, cultic
involvement can happen to anyone.
...It takes quite some time for those leaving cults to know what happened to
them, and they still operate under shame and guilt over their cultic
involvement. One must realize that cults use powerful techniques of
manipulation. ...The major problem for those not undergoing some form of exit
counseling is denial. Many continue to believe they were somehow responsible
for their fate. It is difficult for them to accept that their lives were not
always completely under their own control. Denial shows itself in withdrawal
from family and friends, statements that "I'm fine," defensiveness about the
group's problem, and refusal to seek help. Such denial must be countered by
clearly showing the realities of cult dynamics. Former cult members need to
see how they were lured into the movement, what vulnerabilities the cult
exploited, and how the principles of mind control were used to keep them in
the cult.
Emotional Needs
Cults lure people for many reasons, but perhaps primarily because of the
relationships that the experience offers. The involvement is an intensely
personal experience. ...The therapist, counselor, pastor, and [family] must be
able to relate to the ex-member's emotional needs for acceptance, belonging,
friendship, and love. ...In recovering from cultic life, one of the things
that takes the longest to resolve is the search for the love, fellowship, and
caring that was experienced while in the group. It is extremely important that
a trusting relationship be established between the former member and the
helper. ...[The] tremendous fellowship and warmth that the ex-member often
longs for is an "artificial high." ...group experience felt great. [Were these
highs] really more like the feeling of euphoria produced by some drugs?
There are many group processes that can make people
feel euphoric. These "highs" can be psychologically and spiritually unhealthy,
because the experience produces in the member a strong sense of dependence on
the group and its leaders.
These "highs" are part of what is known as altered states of
consciousness—states between waking and sleeping "that differ from those
usually experienced in the world of everyday reality." Included are states
such as those induced by creative work, meditation, drugs, sleep, alcohol, and
hypnosis.
When an ex-cultist returns to the "high" after leaving a cult, it is called
"floating." It is also called "floating" when one snaps back into the
shame-based motivations experienced while in the cult and believes anew that
the cult was right. Floating is handled by discovering what triggers the
episodes and then dealing with the triggers.
Types of triggers include:
- Visual—certain colors, pictures, hand
signals, symbols, smiles
Verbal—songs,
jargon, Scripture verses, slogans, types of laughter, mantras, decrees,
prayers, tongues speaking, curses, [rhythhmic speaking, accents]
Physical—touches, handshakes, kisses,
hugs
Smell—incense, perfume of leader, foods
Tastes—foods
The first step in
recovery from floating
is to identify these triggers and the loaded language that gives meaning to
the visual trigger. For example, the visual trigger may be a book that has
been forbidden by the cult. Seeing the book causes thoughts like, "This is the
work of the devil." Loaded language is any thought-stopping cliché that is
used in manipulative groups to prevent critical thinking. For example, simple
tiredness is reinterpreted as "running in the flesh," and is used to
discourage people from claiming fatigue or stress. Not wanting to go to every
scheduled meeting is labeled "rebellion" and as possessing a ..."independent
spirit." ... Such loaded language is not easily forgotten even after exiting a
cult. It sidetracks critical analysis, disrupts communication, and may produce
confusion, anxiety, terror, and guilt.
Undoing the language of the
cult requires a hard look at
what words and phrases mean. The mind must be taught to rethink the meaning of
language. Because cults misuse words and use loaded language, one ex-cultist
recommends concentrating on crossword puzzles and other word games as an aid
to regrounding one's conception of the true sense of words. In addition,
...[ex-members] ...must learn to challenge the factual claims of loaded
language phrases.
Former cult members must ...[learn to] ...identify
such words and phrases that have a special or loaded meaning to them. ...One
simple way for ex-cultists to help themselves is to look words up in a
dictionary and then compare those meanings with what the cult taught. The
member should be encouraged to spend a good bit of time reading in areas
unrelated to the former cult.
Such exercises are crucial for any ...[former cult
members] ...who feel powerless because they do not know how language was used
to control them. Empowerment and control are essential ingredients to recovery
from cultic involvement.
Understanding Trauma
In coming to grips with what has happened to the ex-cultist, it is quite
helpful to employ the victim or trauma model. According to this model,
victimization and the resulting distress it causes are due to the shattering
of three basic assumptions that the victim held about the world and the self.
These assumptions are the belief in personal invulnerability, the perception
of the world as meaningful, and the perception of oneself as positive. The
former cult member has been traumatized, deceived, conned, used, and often
emotionally and mentally abused while serving the group or the leader. Like
other victims of such things as criminal acts, war atrocitities, rape, and
serious illness, ex-cultists often reexperience the painful memories of their
group involvement. Trauma also causes many to lose interest in the outside
world, feel detached from society, and display limited emotions.
Excerpted from "Cult
Proofing Your Kids" by Dr. Paul R. Martin (Zondervan).
Dr. Martin is the director of Wellspring Retreat and Resource Center.
Reprinted with permission. Also available from
AFF Electronic Bookstore
and Wellspring, or ask for it at your local bookstore.
Send for
-
After the Cult: Recovering Together
A 25-minute videotape developed by AFF's Project Recovery. Ten ex-cult
members share their moving and dramatic personal stories, tell how they have
moved on with their lives, and suggest strategies for facing the future
realistically.
-
Ex-Member Workshop
AFF is pleased to announce our upcoming ex-member recovery workshops.
These workshops, which in the past have been very well
received, address many issues related to recovery from cultic and other
abusive groups: depression, grief, dealing with lost years, family issues,
anger toward the leader/group, re-orienting oneself in a career, regaining
trust, and spirituality. Typically 20-30 former members attend a workshop,
so there is ample opportunity for discussion. Contact
AFF for more information.
Workshop for Loved Ones
AFF will conduct its first workshop for families, spouses, and loved ones of
those who have left cults or are still in groups, "How to Help a Loved One
Affected by a Cult." This workshop, at The Stony Point Center, in Stony
Point, New York (about one hour north of New York City) the weekend of June
7-9, will help participants assist in their loved one's recovery process,
understand the cult experience, communicate more effectively, better cope
with their own feelings, and especially to explore alternatives to
deprogramming.
For more information contact AFF.
AFF News
is published by AFF
