Cults and Society, Vol. 1, No.
1, 2001
Coping with Cult Involvement: A Handbook
for Families & Friends
Livia Bardin,
M.S.W.
From the Preface
I first began working for AFF (American Family Foundation),
the publisher of this book, in 1980, shortly after the organization's founding.
AFF's founders wanted the organization to study the cult phenomenon
scientifically in order to educate youth and the public and help families and
former group members more effectively. As a result, AFF has gone through
several cycles of professional study followed by the development of practical
resources. Available manpower has always been too small to meet all the needs
that the organization identified. Therefore, AFF has shifted its focus over the
years, sometimes concentrating on educational materials, sometimes on research
studies, sometimes on resources for families, and sometimes on resources for
former members.
In the mid-1980s, Joan Ross and I began working on what was to
become Cults: What Parents Should Know, because parents of a cult-involved
person had virtually no practical resources to which they could turn. Many
parents praised this book, which provided a general introduction to the subject
and concrete suggestions concerning assessment, communication, and strategy.
Despite such praise, I always felt that more was required.
Families (spouses and siblings, as well as parents) needed a book that would get
into the painful nuts-and-bolts of dealing with a cult involvement and that
would help them apply the theoretical notions that others and I wrote about to
their unique case. Unfortunately, after the publication of Cults: What Parents
Should Know, AFF had to focus its limited resources on helping former group
members, more and more of whom were seeking our help.
For nearly 10 years, I waited for an opportunity to return
AFF's focus back to families. In 1996 "opportunity knocked" when AFF volunteer
professional, Livia Bardin, expressed interest in planning and conducting
workshops for families concerned about a loved one's cult involvement. Mrs.
Bardin conducted her first family workshop in Stony Point, New York in 1997.
Subsequently, she conducted workshops in Philadelphia, Chicago, Minneapolis-St.
Paul, and Seattle. She has also presented educational programs on cults to a
variety of mental health professional groups, as well as the general public.
Mrs. Bardin was the right person tackling the right job at the
right time. She is a diligent student of the cult phenomenon and brings to the
field the practical skills of clinical social work. She also knows how to
clarify and organize, to cut through the fog that confuses so many families and
to illuminate for them that which is important.
Mrs. Bardin developed for these workshops a collection of
forms (printed at the end of this book) designed to help families think more
clearly about their UNIQUE situations. When I first saw the initial drafts of
these forms, I felt great relief! At last, somebody who clearly saw what was
needed was meeting that need. She realized that families needed more than words
and concepts. They needed concrete tools, tools that would challenge them
intellectually and emotionally, tools that would empower them to understand and
do something constructive about the distressing situation for which they sought
help. The forms she had developed for her workshops are these tools.
This book, which was written to explain these forms, is built
on the knowledge and experience gained from years of working with families in
workshops and in private consultations. This is not a "fun" book. Nor is it a
book that aims to "validate" feelings of anger, hurt, helplessness, and fear,
although it does that to some extent. This book is a "handbook," a tool
designed to help you achieve a goal, namely, to help a loved one. As with all
tools, the book requires effort to learn how to use it. It is not something
that you merely "read." It is something that you use, something that you
wrestle with, that you come back to again and again.
If you are willing to give the requisite time and mental
exertion that this book demands, I am confident that you will find it to be
extremely helpful. It may not "solve" your problem, for, as Mrs. Bardin states
in the Introduction, a cult involvement is often "a situation to manage, not a
problem to solve." The book will, however, make you confident that you are
doing all that you realistically can to manage, if not solve, the problem that
has caused you so much distress.
Michael D.
Langone, Ph.D.
Executive Director,
AFF Editor,
Cultic Studies Journal
May 2000
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